Well, I found this old photograph taken about 2 years ago at Riverbend Music Festival near Owatonna Minnesota. That is one ass kicking party every year!!
I'm the sun burned one in the halter top - what was I thinking - being in the sun that long (or wearing that halter top) then clockwise it's Michelle G (aka The Whistler), Michelle S and Shirley (aka Keybob). One day when there's a lot of time I'll tell you how I got my "Fuktard name" - Swampass...
Stanley & Shirley were going out for a ride. Kevin K., who lives across the street from them, saw them saddling up, went over to see where they were going. I heard the rumble coming from their garage – they live just around the corner from me (our back yards are joined). I had to go check it out. Kevin O. & I decided to ride along! That’s how it started….
We try to get “organized” rides together also, but a lot of them are very spontaneous and impromptu.
At any rate, we usually attend Riverbend Music Festival near Owatonna, MN; the ABATE Freedom Rally in Algona, IA; The Chili Feed in Ellsworth WI each year. We also have ridden in with the Patriot Guard; we have a weekly supper ride every Wednesday night to local towns. We get together ride, have a beer, eat and then ride back home! This year we’re all going to Sturgis!! We’re really excited about that!
Well, a few years ago a group of us were at the Freedom Rally in Algona and we got the sweetest campsite in the park – aptly named Paradise. That year the walk bridge across the stream was out. It was a bad winter and spring floods took out the bridge. We were okay with having to walk the ‘long way around’ to get to the bandstand, vendors and food – but, Paradise is so sweet it was worth it. I bet we all said “the bridge is out” a million times each when people camping around Paradise were coming to take the shortcut across the bridge.
Anyhoo….one night while we were trying to catch some much needed sleep - it was somewhere in the neighborhood of 2a.m. – a couple who were camping just across the stream from us were just arriving back at their tent. They were being EXTREMELY LOUD.
A few of the people camping with my group (including myself) have now become awakened…
This guy was screaming at his wife to make him breakfast and she was adamant and EXTREMELY LOUDLY explaining that she wasn’t going to cook for him at this time of day (or night – however you look at it!).
A couple more people from our camp are now out of their tents…
This guy now is telling his wife that he was going to cut off her biker nipples – and she loudly dared him to do so…again, this is all being shouted in EXTREMELY LOUD voices.
Well, by this time everyone in our camp has been awakened – and were not terribly happy about it – and were forming an ‘angry mob’ on our side of the stream. Listening in at this EXTREMELY LOUD couple’s conversation.
This guy tells his wife that she was his cavewoman and she needed to provide him with food, she then called him a Fuck-Tard and told him to shut up.
Okay…Now the ‘angry mob’ are actually awake…it is a good thing there was a flood – and that bridge is out!! But, what…..this fight between the cavewoman and her Fuck-Tard (we assumed she was blending two other words into one shorter one – use your imagination) – has become entertaining….
It wasn’t long and the two of them became QUIET. Not sure if they collapsed from exhaustion from the argument, passed out from the (clearly) large amount of alcohol they’d consumed or starved to death because they DIDN’T get breakfast just then…
But it was quite now…so we all retreat – to get back to that much needed sleep we needed.
A few hours later….
Steve is making coffee. Stan has to go pee. Shirley & Michelle S need a smoke. Michelle G needs a coke. Kevin O. needs a cup of fresh brewed. Curt’s up. I come out of the tent craving a glass of milk…I know – it’s weird… Kevin K is on his third beer…
Someone has made breakfast – man we eat good at these campouts!! We all have our coffee (and my milk), eat breakfast and have a LOT of conversation – much of which is about our ‘new friends’ from last night….the cavewoman and her Fuck-Tard…. We decide what the morning plans are and ….. saddle up for a ride. We take a day tour, usually end up at a Harley Davidson dealership, stop at some cantina for lunch (or in Kevin K’s case – a beer – okay, we can’t let him drink alone), finally we come through Algona, stop for some supplies (beer & ice) and ride back to Paradise.
Now, we’ve got some time before the entertainment, music & naked biker parade (yes, naked biker parade – bring your beads) to start, so what do we do? Obviously….we gather our lawn chairs and sit along the bank of the stream. Guess who is still sleeping – Yeah, weird …. at 2p.m. – now it’s OUR TURN.
Man, we were LOUD – EXTREMELY LOUD… Poking fun at the cavewoman - who was just maybe missing a nipple (ouch) and her hungry Fuck-Tard… We must have said the word Fuck-Tard a million times that afternoon and after each time we would laugh. We must have said the word Fuck-Tard a million times that night and again, each time we would laugh. We laughed until our sides hurt. We laughed until our cheeks hurt. We laughed until we cried. Ahem….That couple never did come out of their tent – that WHOLE day….
It was that wonderful campout at Algona that we realized that we all were Fuktards!! Everybody is one – they just don’t know it yet!
One drunk night some time later we came up with our meaning (the acronym) and life was breathed into the Fuktards. I have some of the greatest friends in the world – I can’t wait for you to meet them all!!
I have three great kids. Well I and my husband Kevin - he helped! Tyler - he works on the road and I miss him a lot when he's gone. His girlfriend Amanda lives with him, they currently reside in Georgia.
Lindsey - she is a single mom. She is raising my two favorite babies! She is a full time student and she works full time. We get to babysit a lot. Dave is the amazing guy who puts up with her antics, she's very lucky to have him. Dave has 5 small children of his own, they would make a nice (large) blended family!!
Dayton - our baby (who is 22 years old) is a chef working and living in St. Paul & Minneapolis. I don't think he's in a relationship, but he has some INTERESTING friends!
We love spending time with the kids - and we love spending an equal amount of time with our "biker friends". I ride with "The Fuktards" and we have a GREAT time no matter what we are doing! Check us out online at www.fuktards.org
I look forward to ranting, rambling and riding through this blog with you - enjoy!
I am married to my best friend - Kevin, I am a mother to three wonderful, grown children; Tyler, Lindsey & Dayton, I am a "nana" (aka: grandmother) to three of the sweetest little faces on this planet Cayden & Gabriel and the baby girl Savannah. I am a friend. I work part time as a bartender/server- I love being a bartender!!! I love riding my Harley Davidson. I have a dream of moving to and living on the island of Maui. I love spending time with my grandsons Cayden & Gabriel, if you spend much time reading my blog you will soon find out that they rule my world!!!